11:03pm: New Rules for Roleplayers
There are lots, so put below cut.

(With thanks to /.)

10:04pm: Tests. What are they good for?
I Am A: Lawful Good Human Wizard (3rd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-12

Dexterity-12

Constitution-13

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-9

Charisma-8



Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

9:29pm: Sokal, Postmodernism, perfidy!
I have recently discovered this awesome review of Sokal and Bricmont's Intellectual Impostures. It has made me very happy. You should all read it. Then laugh at the post-modernists. Hee-hee!

9:32pm: Visited countries. Needs Work.


create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

May not be a complete list.

11:54pm:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.6
Mind:	7.5
Body:	8.4
Spirit:	7
Friends/Family:	6.2
Love:	6.9
Finance:	6.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

6:25pm:

Link: The Song of Ice and Fire House Test written by Geeky_Stripper on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

10:13pm: I have constructed my first FORTRAN program.
This is strangely exciting. Am now worried by the size of the feeling of achievement. But not that worried. Victory is mine!

9:29pm: http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20070518

10:51pm:

12:00pm: Names, and the forgetting thereof.






via xkcd.com

9:57pm: Danger, Pretentious Wank within. Read at own risk.
"‘What’s that thing when someone gets a knock on the head and suddenly can’t remember anything about himself?’
‘Death,’ said the barman, his face a mask of disapproval."

Once I was a man apart, who could not only see the past, but live it also. Now, I find that all has deserted me, and so have returned to the comforting arms of the apple brew. (well, mainly apples...). as the future calls, so I will head north, Yorkwards bound me hearties, there to tear around MAST with only GSII for company, in only the tiniest ways. I hope. I have tried to do many things, never too well, more's the shame. Can I succeed at this? Or an I merely a burnt-out husk of the person I could have been? Is that the anti-hayfever pills talking? Well, we can only try, and let those who come after get a leg up on our efforts.



With acknowledgements (doesn't look quite right, does it) to S. Aylett.

11:26am: This are serious awesome!
LOLCATS TO THE RESCUE!

(via boingboing)

5:54pm: But don't get any funny ideas...
$5575.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle² - Online Dating

1:05am: I am amused by the Viennese. Again.
Aha! ha ha ha ha!

12:03am: Gigantor
Gigantor is happening on Friday 11th May, not Saturday as usual. Tell Everybody.

See: Here for more details.

11:04pm: Warning Labels
As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legislation which requires the prominent placing of warnings on products that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned, merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area. This is especially true in light of the findings of 20th century physics.

We are therefore proposing that, as responsible scientists, we join together in an intensive push for new laws that will mandate the conspicuous placement of suitably informative warnings on the packaging of every product offered for sale in the United States of America. Our suggested list of warnings appears below.

WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.

CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.

CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving. (Note: This one is optional on the grounds that Heisenburg was never quite sure that his principle was correct)

ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.

THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.

PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.

NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.

PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.

HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.

(The above is from Volume 36, Number 1 of The Journal of Irreproducible Results. Copyright 1991 Blackwell Scientific Publications Inc.)

 

Additional:

                         Disproving String Theory

1. Cut 12 inches (304.8 mm) of string, +/- 0.1 in (2.54 mm). 
2. Soak string under kitchen tap. 
3. Hang string in freezer. 
4. After 1 hour, remove string. 
5. Place string on hard clean surface. 
6. Pushed string, shouting "Aha!  Another law bites the dust!" 
7. Cackle maniacally for almost two minutes. 
8. Stare into space until suppertime.

 

 

10:50pm:
* 1. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.
* 2. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e. whenever one can get away with it).
* 3. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the addition of positive real integers.
* 4. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical."
* 5. To invoke the uncertainty principle when confronted by confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and other lower scientists.
* 6. When pressed by non-physicists for an explanation of (4) to mumble in a sneering tone of voice something about physically naive mathematicians.
* 7. To equate two sides of an equation which are dimensionally inconsistent, with a suitable comment to the effect of, "Well, we are interested in the order of magnitude anyway."
* 8. To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.
* 9. To invent fictitious forces to delude the general public.
* 10. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.
* 11. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.
* 12. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to these arguments as proofs.
* 13. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.

1:26pm: Lol Macro spread.
This time the meme has spread too far!

There can be no forgiveness after this.

9:16pm:

10:15am: Hooray for the killing of Emotions!

Get Your Monster Name

Get Your Monster Name

Via The Quantum Pontiff

11:52pm: Feynman vs. Poets.
"The stars are made of the same atoms as the earth."  I usually pick one small
topic like this to give a lecture on.  Poets say science takes away from the
beauty of the stars -- mere gobs of gas atoms.  Nothing is "mere."  I too can
see the stars on a desert night, and feel them.  But do I see less or more?
The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination -- stuck on this carousel
my little eye can catch one-million-year-old light.  A vast pattern -- of which
I am a part -- perhaps my stuff was belched from some forgotten star, as one
is belching there.  Or see them with the greater eye of Palomar, rushing all
apart from some common starting point when they were perhaps all together.
What is the pattern, or the meaning, or the *why?*  It does not do harm to the
mystery to know a little about it.  For far more marvelous is the truth than
any artists of the past imagined!  Why do the poets of the present not speak
of it?  What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but
if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?
                -- Richard P. Feynman (1918-1988)

11:32pm: The agnostics prayer
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen."

Madrak, in _Creatures of Light and Darkness_, by Roger Zelazny

8:14pm: Thought I'd give the shuffle meme a go...

Warning: Pseudo-meaningful bullshit below. Advisory, forget all rationality before considering reading this post. No Actual Descriptions Of Reality Contained Within. Peruse at your own risk.

Basis for experiment: place all music on shuffle. Somehow, magical fairies (are there any other kind?) will choose the most appropriate song to answer all the questions.

How does the world see me?
Steelgods of the Last Apocalypse: Rhapsody. Well, There you have it. Proof positive. Bow before me, puny mortal-type things.

Will I have a happy life?
Plagiarize: Tom Lehrer. So, all I have to do is steal other peoples good ideas. I can live with that.

What do my friends really think of me?
Silent Night, Blasphemous Night: Dagon Tabernacle Choir. Now am confused. Do they see me as silent, or blasphemous? I just don't know.

Do people secretly lust after me?
White Rabbit: Jefferson Airplane. My powers of pseudo-psychiatry are failing me. Suggested Interpretations on a postcard please.

How can I make myself happy?
Den Svarte ?Igens Blod: Finntroll. Learn a foreign language? Blither at people? Move to Scandinavia? Actually, that might work.

What should I do with my life?
Brown Eyed Girl: Eagles. Breed. Check. Right, any volunteers?

Will I ever have children?
Rise up: Yngwie Malmsteen. Clones you say? But what about the Brown Eyed Girl? Unless she is a clone of me, post sex change. thank you John Varley for making that seem perhaps much less worrying than it really should.

What is some good advice for me?
Random, Unnamed Russian/Slavick pop song. Possibly by TaTu. I think. So, more blithering. And concealing my identity from all. Fair enough, after all I already have a pseudonym.

How will I be remembered?
House of the Rising Sun: The Animals. Well, falling into the trap of prostitution, or bringer of a new dawn. Either is good.

What is my signature dance song?
Eldf?rd: Thyrfing. Now with the Dancing, and the jumping and so on. Hooray for headbangers. I think.

What do I think my current theme song is?
Take Off Your Clothes: Judge Dread. The sound you can almost hear is my sinister chuckle. heh heh heh.

What song will play at my funeral?
I was Born to love you: Queen. Curious, but what the hell. Go reincarnation. Yay Team!

What type of women do I like?
I'm in Love with the Girl on a Certain Manchester Megastore Checkout Desk - Freshies. Well, that is certainly specific. Thank you for narrowing it down, magical fairies.

What is my day going to be like?
Green Hornet: Al Hirt. From the Kill Bill soundtrack. Bring it on, you remarkably stupid Japanese gangsters!

1:31pm: Help needed?
I am in slightly urgent need of a soldering iron, and, preferably, someone who knows how to use it to solder smallish (~0.5mm) things together as I have managed to break several important connections in my music machine. I am quietly confidant that soldering them back will solve the problem, but have none of the required kit. Recommendations greatly appreciated.

7:50pm: Well, my term is nearly over...
I have semi-successfully kinda-achieved all the work I need to do this term, except for a small quantity of standing in front of posters on Thursday. I am the almost-King! Bow before my marvelous, nay, miraculous, ability to do a moderate quantity of work in the ample time specified for it's completion! In other news, I will be moving flat soon. There should probably be some sort of celebration involved with this, but quite why, I just can't tell.


My rule for life is to be desperate one day at a time.